Actions.

Mine haven't been so smart lately.
My skin is crawling with hatred and anger towards myself.
I'm just not quite ready to let go.
But I guess I will have to be forced to do that.
Everyone's been mean to everyone;
and now, maybe we all feel as awful as I do.
Maybe not.
Who knows?
But I now know that I'm sorry as hell.
Forgiveness is needed, but won't be granted.
I owe apologies, and they've been said.
But forgiveness and second chances are hard to come by.
And often enough in the case of me,
Are
Never
Granted.
Possibly I'm still mad.
Mad that I can't express myself.
I want to be understood.
But its hard to understand one,
Who still doesn't quite understand themself.
Its like trying to grab ahold
Of
The
Wind.
Impossible.
Frustrating.
Painful.
Pain on both sides.
Pain everywhere.
Collasping.
Gasping for air.
Drifting off into a deep sleep.
Darkness encloses the world.
In darkness there is nothing.
And finding nothing,
There is peace.

And this is the roller coaster that exists to be my life.