Relationships

I don't want a relationship. I just want someone to care, but also be more than a friend? It's not that I miss being with someone, I just miss being held, feeling their heartbeat against mine, their voice whispering secrets into my ear... This is so romantic... Yuck. But just so we're clear I'm going to fill you in on a little more. Isn't a relationship the only way you can truly make sure that person cares? Well, not nessicarily care but, I guess there are no guarentees on whether or not someone actually cares for you, or if it's just lust. And if one person cares for the other, and the other's just lustful, people get hurt. And that sucks. So I guess all is fair in love and war. But maybe the real question is, which is which? Just one more thing relating to this, for those of you who have or do like me, I'm weird, I really only want what I can't have. So I set myself up to get hurt and it's bad but I can't help it, its always been like this. So please don't take offense if I don't like you back. I probably value you too much as a friend to bare the idea of losing you. And Just for those of you who don't know, the whole we can still be friends after this is done with is bull. Alot of it. That never ever will work out. EVER. But speaking of losing friends, which I'm terrified of, four of my closest friends are leaving. They'll be back I just don't want them to leave. And thats selfish of me I know, they're going to do what they love in a once in a lifetime adventure, but I can't handle the idea of them leaving. But for now thats all I'm going to say about that. So lets all grab hands and go on the roller coaster that will be and is our lives together. Peace.